i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
