lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
there is puke in my bra ... again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
