The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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