Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
