Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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