If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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