Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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