So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
