last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
