Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
