Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize