To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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