yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
