nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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