Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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