I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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