WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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