I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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