I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
