I am puke
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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