I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
