My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
