Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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