The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
