Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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