We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
