we have pet lesbian snakes
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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