K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
