so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
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When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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