when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize