hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
