come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize