we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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