lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
