Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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