I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
