Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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