Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
