...so i touched it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
