Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
