I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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