i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
