Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.