The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The uberlube is also flammable
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet