that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.