As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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