So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
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Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
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Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.