sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
