my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
