Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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