Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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