you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
