Yo dont text me then not text me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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