did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
