Do you still have your period?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
