I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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