We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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