Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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