I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
