omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
