I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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