i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I cockslap morals
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
