Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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