Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
