Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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