I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
