This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
