What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
