I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
