Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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