what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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