I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
