I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
