where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
