she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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